This is an interesting article I found about body language. Although it's aimed at men, it has some useful tips and tricks
you can use. Just be aware that not all the body language tips are relevant- for example, crossing the legs near the knee
is not a problem for women...
(Also... I've heard about the clockwise eye contact before- but personally I don't like it. It can look a bit too robotic,
and I find random eye contact across with everyone in a group works better for me. Whether you decide to use it is up to you...)
Body language is the meaning behind the words or the "unspoken" language. Surprisingly, studies show that only up to an estimated
10 percent of our communication is verbal.
The majority of the rest of communication is unspoken. This unspoken language isn't rocket science.
However, there are some generalizations or basic interpretations that can be applied to help with the understanding or translating
of these unspoken meanings.
Here are some basics below.
1. Smile
People like warm smiles. Think of a heartfelt warm-fussy, maybe your favorite pet, and smile.
2. Eyes
If you don't look someone in the eyes while speaking, this can be interpreted as dishonesty or hiding something. Likewise,
shifting eye movement or rapid changing of focus/direction can translate similarly.
If more than one person is present in a group, look each person in the eye as you speak, slowly turning to face the next person
and acknowledge him or her with eye contact as well. Continue on so that each person has felt your warm, trusting glance.
Some suggest beginning with one person and moving clockwise around the group so that no one is missed, and so that you are
not darting around, seemingly glaring at people.
3. Attention Span / Attitude
Other people can tell what type attitude you have by your attention span. If you quickly lose focus of the other person and
what is being said, and if your attention span wanders, this shows through and makes you seem disinterested, bored, possibly
even uncaring.
4. Attention Direction
If you sit or stand so that you are blocking another in the party, say someone is behind you, this can be interpreted as rude
or thoughtless. So be sure to turn so that everyone is included in the conversation or angle of view, or turn gently, at ease
and slowly, while talking, so that everyone is incorporated, recognized and involved in the conversation. Again some suggest
the clockwise movement when working a group.
5. Arms Folded / Legs Crossed
This can be seen as defensive or an end to the conversation. So have arms hang freely or hold a glass of water, a business
card or note taking instruments while communicating with others. Be open with open arms. Note: If you need to cross legs,
cross at your ankles and not your knees. Sitting tightly folded up says that you are closed to communications.
6. Head Shaking
If people are shaking their heads while you speak, they are in agreement. If they are shaking, "no", disagreement reigns in
their minds.
7. Space / Distance -
On the whole, people like their own personal body space. Give people room and keep out of their space. Entering to close can
be intrusive and viewed as aggressive. Leaning - Sitting or standing, leaning is viewed as interest. In other words, an interested
listener leans toward the speaker. Note others' body language - While you are with others, note how their bodies read. If
a person suddenly folds his arms across his chest and begins shaking his head 'no,' you've probably lost him. Might try taking
a step back and picking up where the conversation began this turn for the negative and regroup. It's all about strategic planning!
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